Geek (1973). "In the wilds of the Himalayan mountains, there are tales of a mammoth being known as the Abominable Snowman. In the similarly virgin territories of the North American continent, there exits its counterpart... Sasquash. otherwise known as THE GEEK."
Yup. this is exactly what the world’s been waiting for: a hardcore saga about Sasquash sex! Yes. Sasquash. Supposedly "filmed on location in Oregon. Washington and Alberta. Canada" (but looking like it was shot in a single afternoon behind someone’s farm), six sex-crazed campers set out to find the hairy one.
Our first clue that this isn’t exactly a National Geographic special is when Valerie looks at John’s crotch and makes the first scientific discovery: "Oh. it’s so hard! I just wanna touch it." John promptly pokes her in a field while she’s still wearing her shiny black go-go boots.
Then the team leader invites another of the gals into his tent for some "Italian sausage." (He really says that.) After a sizzlin’ screwing, she asks. "Was I a good piece of ass?" "Best piece I ever had. Of course, you’re the only one." he replies. "You mean to tell me you’re a virgin?!" "The closest I ever came was when my sister let me feel her breasts." Ooookaaaay...
Fortunately. Sasquash finally shows up. waves his arms, and makes with a few half-hearted growls. (The poor bastard looks drunk.) Nevertheless, what do you think our dimwit campers do when they’re face to face with this legendary creature? That’s right... They send him one of their women: "Walk slowly and don’t scare him. okay?"
The chosen gal coyly approaches, holds a hand out for the creature to shake, and is immediately done doggie-style: "Oh that beast! He stuck that ugly thing into me!" The others are unnerved: "There he is. kids! Scram!"
Of course, the real geek on display here is the sorry asshole in the fright wig and Sasquash suit — a hilariously shaggy fur coat and corduroy pants ripped at the crotch with what looks like his tiny tadger dangling in the wind — who appears to be both tired and embarrassed and whose frantic humping of a second girl ends when he simply falls over on his side. Yes. boys and girls, that’s entertainment!
Cast: Lynn Holmes, Mycle Brandy
Country: US produced and published, 1973
File Type: mp4